


Starving

by orphan_account



Series: Angsty NicoMaki AU [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, F/F, I'm sorry for writing this lol, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, but oh well, i feel badddddddddddd, really sad, sad shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (TW// eating disorders, vulgar language, and suicide/ suicide attepmts.)Nico always knew she wasn't perfect, and she also knew no one ever is. But when she looks at those idols in those magazines and music videos, she wishes she was perfect like that. So, She tries. She tries to be as skinny as them, hell she'll stuff her bra if she has to. But, Maki Nishikino will help her stop these horrible actions and maybe, just maybe, fall in love with her by doing so.ORNico has an eating disorder, and Maki helps her through it.
Relationships: Nishikino Maki/Yazawa Nico
Series: Angsty NicoMaki AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027261
Kudos: 17





	1. Hunger

Nico sat outside of her apartment on her balcony; she had just had an argument with her mom over Nico’s eating habits. Nico’s siblings had told her mom she hadn’t been eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and her mom had confronted Nico about it. Nico had gotten really mad at the accusation and yelled at her mom about it.The fight had gone on from there, and Nico had argued with her mom for a few hours, then left for the park. Nico had then come back around 12:00 am, puffy eyed and sad; she tried to go to sleep but she just couldn’t.

Nico pulled out her phone and looked at it. She just stared at the blank screen and saw herself in the reflection. Nico grimaced.

 _‘Do I really look that bad when I cry?’_ she asked herself in her head. Nico then turned on her phone and blinked as the screen shined in her face, irritating her eyes that were used to the dark. She then clicked on her contacts and scrolled down to Nozomi, but thought better of it and scrolled up to Maki. Her finger hesitated over the call button, but she pressed it anyway. The phone rang 3 times, and then a voice picked up.

“Nico-chan?” Maki had obviously just woke up, and her voice sounded a mixture of angry and confused. “What are you doing calling this late? It’s 2:46 in the morning!” Nico gave a nervous laugh. “Well uh....sorry to wake you Maki-chan..can we talk?” Maki made a noise of irritation. “Why Nico-chan? It’s late and we have school tomorrow. I should be sleeping and so should you.” Nico felt panic rise in her chest, and she felt like crying again. “O-Oh..N-Nico’s sorry. N-Nico guesses she should just hang up then and let you s-sleep, sorry to b-bother you Maki-chan.” Maki had not expected that reaction. She was now fully awake and slightly alert. Maki didn’t know what to say, so she quickly came up with a response. “No, no, it’s fine. What do you want to talk about?” Nico gave a relieved sigh. “Nico uh...had a fight with her mom today, do you uh….know how to help make up for that?” Maki thought for a moment. “Uhm...well...no, but i can try to help,” Maki paused and thought again. “What do you need help with exactly?”

* * *

Nico and Maki had talked until sunrise, it went from how Nico was going to help make it up to her mother, to talking about their favorite type of crepes, then to their favorite type of music and so forth. It was around 6:00 am, and the two girls had to hang up and get ready for school. Well, Nico did. She lived farther away from the school, and she needed to get breakfast going for her and her siblings. Mostly just for her siblings, thought. Nico had tried to cut down on her meals to keep her ‘idol figure’. This worried her friends and family, especially since she skips most of her meals. Nico however doesn’t seem to see why it’s bad, she thinks it’s helping her. Nico overheard the girls talking about her having a possible eating disorder, but Nico quickly shut the theory down. The others apologized, but still never let go of the thought.

Nico walked into the small kitchen, grabbling pancake batter, eggs, milk, butter, and other needed ingredients for pancakes. She started to make them, when Cocoro woke up.

“Onee-sama?” Cocoro asked, tiredly coming out of the room. Nico turned to her younger sister. “Yeah? What’s up?” Cocoro went up and hugged her sister. “Morning..” Nico smiled. “Morning sleepy-head,” Nico looked down at her sister. “Are Cotaro and Cocoa awake yet?” Cocoro shook her head. “No, not yet. Do you want me to wake them up?” Nico said no and turned back around to finish cooking. Cocoro soon let go, and sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for her pancakes.

Eventually, little Cocoa and Cotaro come groggily out of their room, smelling the sweet scent of pancakes and eggs.

“Nico-sama? Is breakfast done?” Cocoa askes. Nico nodded and asked them to sit down, as she grabbed the plates and put them down. She then grabbed Cotaro and put him in a seat. “Eat up.” Nico finally said as she went back into the kitchen to clean up. “Onee-sama?” Cocoa asked again. “Hm?” Nico replied sweetly. “Aren’t you going to eat too?” Nico froze. She didn’t know what to say to her little sister. _‘No, I think I’ll look too fat if I do, and then I’ll never become an idol.’_? No, definitely not. Nico slowly put the dishes in her hands down. “Erm...no Cocoa, Nico’s going to meet up with Maki-chan before school and eat something again.” A quick lie, it was easy to back up and easy to use. Well, she hoped. “Ok! Tell Maki-chan I said hi!” Cocoro jumped out of her seat. “Me too! Tell Maki-chan I said hi!” Cotaro hiccuped and said, “Me too.” Nico gave a soft smile and went back to cleaning up.

* * *

After Nico was done, she got the kids ready for school, she also got herself ready. Cotaro was still fairly too young for school, so he had to stay home with their grandma while Nico was at school. Nico made sure that he would be fine without her for a couple of hours, and made sure the girls were ready for school.

“C’mon girls, hurry up! Nico doesn’t want you to be late for school!” She yelled from the other room. Cocoro and Cocoa both come rushing out of their room in their school uniforms. “We’re ready!” Cocoro said happily. “Ok, let’s go.” Nico and walked her sisters to school, then she walked herself to school.

When she arrived at school, Nozomi was waiting for her at the front gates. Nico waved with a smile and Nozomi waved back. Nico yawned as she got closer to Nozomi. “Rough night, Nicocchi?” Nozomi asked. Nico shrugged and grabbed Nozomi’s arm, practically dragging her into the school. “You’re feisty today Nicocchi!~” Nico grimaced. “Can it, perv.” Nozomi only laughed as they headed to their first period.

* * *

When Nico entered the clubroom, she hadn’t expected a pair of arms to wrap around her. “Hey!” Nico growled. “What’s with the physical contact?!” Nico looked up and saw red hair. “M-Maki?!” Maki let go and gave and puffed out her chest; her face red. “Yeah, and don’t get the wrong idea! I-It’s not like I wanted to hug you or anything!” Nico chuckled. “Oh, really?” Maki huffed and crossed her arms. “But, you felt really skinny.” Nico stopped smiling and froze. “Huh?” Maki nodded and unfolded her arms. “Did you eat breakfast this morning?” Nico gulped. “Yeah, of course Nico did. Just because Nico’s skinny doesn’t mean she doesn’t eat, Maki-chan.” Maki looked unconvinced, but let it go. “Ok then, Nico-chan. Let’s just go sit down.” Nico nodded and sat in her seat at the top end of the table.

Practice wasn’t as long as Nico usually thought it to be. Today went by fairly fast, and Nico felt like she was kinda useless in today’s choreo practice. She hadn’t had a lot of parts in dancing, she was usually on the ground in an awkward position, or she was standing in an awkward position. Rin got the same thing as her, and Nico felt pity for her as she did herself. Rin smiled through it though, she seemed to be happy with whatever she got to do. Nico doesn’t get a lot of spotlight anymore, it’s usually Eli, Nozomi, or Honoka and sometimes Maki. She envied them.

Nico packed up her bags quickly, she didn’t want to be late to picking up Cocoro and Cocoa. She shoved everything she could into her book bag as best she could, before turning around to find a concerned Maki.

“Why are you packing up so early? Don’t you wanna come with us to get boba?” Nico made a desperate noise. “Nico’s sorry Maki-chan, Nico is busy with things and she was to get them done! I’ll see you tomorrow! Bye Maki-chan!” Nico rushed off out the door, leaving Maki utterly confused. “What...what just happened?” Maki asked no one in particular. She then shrugged, grabbed her book bag and made her way to the door.

* * *

That night, Nico had just finished cleaning up dinner, and is now laying in her bed. She stared up at the ceiling and had thoughts of the previous night and of the day. She thought of how she lied to her siblings, and her crush about eating. Damn, she must really be that good of a liar for Maki of all people to believe her. Nico laughed dryly. What was up with her lately? She was fine about a month ago, what the hell happened? She sat up from her bed and walked over to her mirror, and stared at her body. Too small, or too big? She couldn’t decide if she was too tiny or too fat.

 _‘Both. I’m a short, fat, tiny boobed idiot.’_ Nico thought darkly. She took her shirt off and inspected her body more. She grimaced as she touched her thin figure, her hands gliding across her hips and all the way up to her neck. Nico heard a creak from the hall and she quickly threw her shirt back on and jumped over to her bed, pulling her comforter over her body.

Someone opened the door, and hushed whispers could be heard. Were there two people? Was she getting robbed? Panic rose in her chest as she pulled the comforter closer to her face. Nico could only hear a little bit of the conversation.

“Sorry to bother you....”

“....don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll be seeing her now....”

Footsteps echoed as they reached her bed. Nico’s pulse quickened, and her breath hitched. Did they know her? Why were they here? What was happening?

Nico gulped and clenched her fist. When the figure approached, Nico was going to strike.

“Nico-chan? Nico-chan wake up!” The voice said.

Huh? That voice was familiar. Who was that? She let her clenched fist untighten.

“Nico-chan, it’s me Maki, can you wake up?” Maki shook her gently.

Maki? Why was Maki here? Nico opened her eyes slowly.

“Maki-chan? W-what are you doing here? It’s late-” Nico looked over at her clock. 8:56 pm. She turned back to Maki. “You woke Nico up.” Maki scoffed. “Don’t pull that bullshit with me Nico. I heard you shuffling around your room, and I saw your fist curl and uncurl. Why were you awake?” Nico shivered in fear. “W-well why are you in Nico’s house at 9:00 pm?!” Maki sat down on Nico’s bed, and twirled her red hair around her finger, a nervous habit of hers. “You’re siblings told your mom you were eating with me in the mornings, right?” Nico’s breath hitched. _‘Damn it Nico! It wasn’t easy to back up after all..’_ She thought. Nico was about to say something, before Maki interrupted “But Nico-chan, I told her I didn’t recall eating breakfast with you in the mornings. So, she asked me to come over and talk to you about it.” Nico looked shocked. Not by the fact Maki hadn’t had her back, but by the fact her mom had called Maki of all people.”Well why’d she call you to handle it? Why couldn’t she?” Nico asked a bit harshly. Maki only smiled. “You and her bickered the other night, no?” It finally clicked in Nico’s brain. “She called me to handle it because she thought you wouldn’t listen to her, Nico-chan.” Nico gulped and sat up in her bed. “Well, what do you wanna know?” Maki took a deep breath and looked Nico dead in the eyes.

_“Are you starving yourself?”_


	2. The Balcony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just some more angst/fluff
> 
> it probably doesn't make any sense lol

_“Are you starving yourself?”_

Nico’s breath hitched, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She knew she had to at least try to muster out a reply, but nothing came out of her mouth. Her throat felt dry, and rough. “Well? Are you?” Maki asked again. Nico looked at her desperately. “Wh..what?! No way! I-I just don’t eat breakfast sometimes!” Maki looked a tiny bit shocked, Nico had used “I” in a sentence instead of using the third person. “Or lunch? Or dinner?” Nico felt tears prick her eyes. She didn’t know how to defend herself anymore. “Nico-chan, please. Just admit it..” Maki put her hand on Nico’s, making Nico’s face flush red and her try to gulp. “F-Fine,” Nico said. “Nico does, but Nico’s only admitting it ‘cause Nico wants to! Not ‘cause you want Nico too!” Maki frowned. 

She knew it, she knew Nico was doing this, and she hadn’t brought up the suspicion to anyone. Nico could’ve died, and it would’ve been her fault, all of her fault. Maki took a deep breath. 

“For how long?” Nico stayed silent. Maki, who couldn’t take it anymore, yelled, “How long?!” The room was silent. Nico was silent. Maki was silent. “How...long?” Maki started to cry, she cursed herself for doing so. Nico had also started crying, she was scared for what came next, and what Maki was going to think of her. 

“A month..” Nico whispered as she pulled Maki into a hug, squeezing her as tight as her weak body could. Maki made a “urk” sound, but hugged back. 

* * *

Maki had stayed the night at the Yazawa’s residence, despite Nico repeatedly saying no. Maki had woken up before Nico that morning, she was confused when she first woke up, she wasn’t familiar with her surroundings. Maki then realized that she was at Nico’s house, in Nico’s room, in Nico’s bed...with Nico. 

Maki jumped up really quick after realizing that Nico was right beside her, sound asleep and clinging to her. Maki’s face was redder than the fruit she adored, tomatoes. “Ne, Nico-chan!” Nico stirred awake. “Wh...what is it, Cocoro? Nico’s tryna sleep…” When Nico opened her eyes fully, they met with a pair of purple ones. Nico jumped up too, and yelped.  
  
“Maki-chan?! W-when did you?...” Nico recalled the previous night vaguely. “Right. You came over to talk with me and then you stayed over.” Maki let out a breath of air. “Right, right, yeah, sorry.” 

* * *

Later that day, Nico and Maki hangout. They went to the park, Maki tried to make Nico eat something, have it be ice-cream, a crepe, a bento, or some ramen. Nico ended up eating something, but excused herself to throw it up. She couldn’t ruin her ‘idol figure’ could she? Maki had seemed to believe it. How dumb can the girl be? Nico loved that about Maki though, how oblivious and dumb she is. 

Nico loves a lot of things about Maki, hell she loves the red-head herself. Nico won’t admit it though. The two girls had gone back to Nico’s apartment, and are now on the balcony. 

“Ne, Nico-chan.” Nico, who was spacing off, snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Maki and hummed as a reply. “I need to use the restroom, where is it?” Nico pointed to the sliding glass door behind them. “Out of Nico’s room, take a turn to the left, first door on the right.” Maki nodded and followed Nico’s directions. Nico had turned back to the view of the city, and looked down. When she looked down, she saw concrete. Cold, hard, concrete. She also imagined jumping off and hitting the concrete. 

_‘What the hell?!’_ she thought _‘Why am I thinking that?’_ Nico shook her head. _‘But...I am curious..’_ Nico grabbed a stool from the corner of the balcony and put it next to the edge. She stood on it, and hopped onto the balcony edge. Nico sat down, and looked down on the ground again. 

_‘Will it hurt?’_ Nico questioned in her head. Nico tried her best to stand up. When she did however, she heard a voice scream her name.

“NICO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET DOWN!” Nico looked back at Maki. “Huh? Ok.” Nico got down slowly, being careful not to slip. When she got back to the balcony surface, Maki hugged her. “Oi! What’re you doing?!” Maki then let go and slapped her. “What were you thinking Nico-chan!?” Nico winced and rubbed her face. “You could have died! Or were you _trying_ to kill yourself?!” 

Nico froze. Kill herself? Why would she ever do that? I mean, it didn’t sound that bad, but her family needed her. She couldn’t leave them now, not like her dad. “No. No Nico wasn’t, Nico was just curious.” Maki lets out a breath. “You don’t need to lie to me Nico-chan.” Nico shook her head, her temper rising. “I’m not! I’m not going to leave my family! I’m not going to leave this earth because I’m selfish! I’m not leaving this earth like my father!” Maki was taken aback. Nico was once again, using “I’s” and and “I’m’s” in her sentences. But the thing she was mostly shocked about was Nico mentioning her father. She knew he wasn’t in the picture, but she didn’t know if he left her because of divorce, or if he died. Maki was now sure of Mr. Yazawa’s fate, and she suspected it was a suicide. Maki felt pity for Nico, deep and utter pity. 

“Nico-chan...I’m sorry..” Nico gave a wry smile, and did her signature pose along with, “Nico~ Nico~ Nii~!” Maki looked confused and slightly pissed. “The fuck? We’re having a moment, Nico-chan, there’s no time for stuff like you silly catchphra-” Nico interrupted her. “Do you know what that means, Maki-chan?” Maki closed her mouth, then opened it again. “Say it again.” “Nico~ Nico~ Nii~!” Maki blinked at Nico. “ _‘Nico, Nico, Smile’_? What about it?” Nico smiled. “My dad taught me it, before he died.” 

Nico looked down at the wooden floors of the balcony. “He wanted me to become an idol.” Maki understood it now, she was like this to impress her dad. “Nico-chan..” Nico laughed dryly. “He’d be pretty disappointed in me now, huh Maki-chan?” Maki hugged her senior again. “No, Nico-chan. I’m sure he’d help you with this issue. Don’t ever think otherwise.” Nico didn’t fully agree with Maki, but she wanted to reassure her. “Right, yeah...I’m sorry.” 

Maki had realized Nico was serious, she was once again talking in 1st person, and she wasn’t joking around. “Ok then Nico-chan,” Maki said. “May I stay another night?” Nico nodded and turned to open the sliding glass door. “Let’s head to bed, shall we?” Nico stepped inside her room, and walked over to her bed. She gestured to Maki to lay down on the bed with her. “Come, Nico’s tired.” 

_“You want me to sleep with you?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if its short, i'm in school and i have shit to do~
> 
> have a wonderful day yall!


	3. Morning!~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aha....idrk

_“You want me to sleep with you?!”_

  
  


Nico looked unamused and growled. “Yes, now come I don’t have all night! Nico needs her beauty sleep!” Maki had her deadpan expression plastered on her face as soon as Nico said “beauty sleep”, but came inside. “Fine, but it’s not like I want to or anything, so don’t get the wrong idea!” Nico only snickered and lied down, her head hitting her pillow with a soft thump. 

Maki crept over to Nico’s bed, kicking off her shoes and taking out the bows in her hair, (Nico had insisted she put them in that morning,) before laying down with Nico. “Ok, g’night Nico-chan.” Maki said quickly before turning her back to Nico with a red face. Nico gave a disappointed grunt before grabbing Maki by the waist and cuddling up to her. Maki’s face flushed even more red. 

“W-What are you doing?!--” Maki managed to get out before Nico hushed her. 

“Shut up and go to sleep, I need some rest and so do you, Nico can sense the insomnia radiating from you.” Maki gulped but obliged to Nico’s actions without saying a word.

* * *

* * *

The two girls stayed in that position all night, and Maki had ended up getting the much needed sleep she’s been craving for endless nights. They had also switched around to where Nico was the little spoon, and Maki the big spoon. 

When Nico woke up that morning, she recalled the previous night and chuckled. She remembered almost jumping off her balcony and Maki stopping her before sudden death. _‘Speaking of Maki,’_ Nico thought as she turned to look at the sleeping girl beside her. _‘Aw, she’s so cute!!!’_ Nico blushed as she stared at Maki. “Maki may be even cuter than me, the infamous Nico-Nii!” Nico slapped her hands over her mouth as she realized she had said that out loud. She held her breath, waiting to hear some sort of giggle or noise of amusement come from the other girl, but Nico heard nothing. She let out the air she was holding in and uncovered her mouth. _‘She really is asleep.’_

Nico thought and sighed with relief and tried to sit up. She struggled for a moment, and gave up, plopping back down next to the red head. “Jeez, I can’t even go and get breakfast done.” Nico laughed again, once again cuddling up to Maki. “I guess Nico could sleep for a little longer, huh Maki-chan?” “Yeah, you sure can.” Nico almost choked on her spit. “So, you were awake?!” Maki laughed hard, like really hard. “Yeah, I’ve been up for a bit, Nico.” Maki sat up, making Nico let go of her. “And I heard a certain idol thinks I’m cuter than her~” Maki cooed. Nico’s face flushed red, and she covered her face with her hands as she sat up. “B-But when I saw you, you looked so asleep!” Maki gave a smug look. “I know how to act, Nico-chan.” Nico was sure the color of her face could beat the color of Maki’s hair. “That’s unfaaair!” Nico exclaimed, dragging out the “a”. Maki just chuckled and hugged Nico. “You sure I’m cuter, Nico-chan?~” Nico couldn’t believe this. Maki? A top? A flirt? You’d be surprised. Nico growled, a small habit of hers. “Whatever, idiot.” When did she become Maki? “You know you like it~” Maki’s reply came instantly. “Maybe…” Had they switched personalities all of a sudden? Nico felt shyer than normal this morning, and Maki was obviously very flirty. How had this happened?

“Let’s just get up and get breakfast going, ok?” Nico said, turning around and kicking her legs over the bed, then hopping off and stretching. “C’mon.” Maki did the same, and walked around the bed to stand in front of Nico. Maki gulped and got closer to her face. Nico suddenly felt self conscious. “M-Maki-chan?..Wh-what are you d-doing?” Maki got closer, to where their foreheads were touching. “Nico-chan, I...” Maki gulped again. “I like you, like I like you a lot.” Nico’s heart fluttered, and her face heated up for what seemed like the millionth time this morning. “O-Oh?..” Maki then kissed her. Nico was shocked, she didn’t know what to do. She enjoyed this, so what does she do now? Nico kissed back, willingly. They stood there, Maki’s hand on Nico’s waist, and Nico’s hands on Maki’s face. Nico had been the one to pull away, mostly for air. They just stared at each other, lovingly. “I...I like you too…” And like that, the two kissed again, then hugged each other. 

_What a wonderful start to their morning, huh?_


	4. Michelle...Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh god.....i'm so sorry for this. my friend gave me the idea, and i just wrote it. i WILL write a part 2!! its alos 1: 40 am, so i'm tired--- xD | gm/ga/gn guys!! <3

It was a normal autumn afternoon, the light breeze, the orange, brown and yellow leaves blowing in the wind, with the smell of pumpkin pie and spices in the air. Nico Yazawa was making her way home from the local shop with just about enough groceries to last her and her family about two weeks, maybe three and a half. It was around 2:45 pm, and it was likely her siblings were on their way home from school, so that meant she needed to hurry.

When she turned the corner into the alleyway next to her apartment however, someone grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into another spot, hidden from the public eye. Nico let out a muffled scream, and thrashed around, dropping her bags in doing so. Nico then bit the hand of her attacker, which responded with them letting out a yelp and dropping her. Nico turned around to face her attacker and what she saw, made her heart drop. “M-Michelle?” Nico stumbled back. “Wh-what do you want from me? Why are you here?” The girl whose name was supposedly Michelle took off her hood. “You know what I want, kitty~” Nico let out a small growl. “Don’t call me that.” Michelle laughed bitterly. “I can call you what I please, kitty~” Michelle walked over to Nico slowly. “What’s with the cold greeting, kitty?~” Nico was shivering, but put on her idol facade to cover it up. “You tried to kidnap me, you idiot. “ Nico tried to stand up straight, and look Michelle in the eyes. “I have places to be, Michelle, so, see ya.” Nico turned to leave, but Michelle grabbed her by her shoulders again. “But kitty, we’re not finished here.” Nico was flipped around again, but this time her face was held tightly inbetwixt Michelle’s fingers. “You have a debt that needs to be paid.” Nico gulped. “It happened years ago, Michelle. Why haven’t you dropped it already?” Michelle gripped tighter, making Nico wince. “Kitty~ You made me look bad, you made me a laughing stock. You brought this upon yourself, haven’t you?” Nico didn’t respond, which resulted in Michelle using her free hand to smack her. Nico yelped. “HAVEN’T YOU?!” Michelle screamed. “Y-yes..” Nico responded. “I-I’m sorry...” Michelle loosened her grip and gave a sick smile. “Oh, kitty. You have no idea how much I’m gonna love doing this.” Nico winced again. “Now, you listen here.” Nico averted her gaze from Michelle, which made Michelle forcefully make her look her in the eyes. “I am going to make your life a living hell. First, you need to pass over your little idol group over to me.” Tears filled Nico’s eyes. “Second, you better get me about two thousand dollars, no questions asked,” The tears streamed down Nico’s face, and her breathing became uneven. “Pl-please, I-I don’t have that kind of money!” Michelle only let go of her face and pushed her to the ground. “Don’t care, you better get me that money. It was going to be a month, but now you have two weeks.” Nico hiccuped and wiped her face. “And lastly, if you don’t do these, I’ll have to hurt that little girlfriend of yours,” Nico stiffened. “Maki, was it? Maki Nishikino?” Nico felt anger rise in her. “I-If you lay one finger on her--” Michelle kicked Nico in her side, making Nico cough and hold her side. “Did I say you could talk?” Michelle cleared her throat and put the hood back on. “I’ll also show the entire school what you’ve done, kitty. And don’t think I won’t, cause trust me I will.” Michelle kicked her in the stomach a few times, making blood spill out of her mouth and clot up. “Have a wonderful afternoon, kitty!~” Michelle then tossed Nico her groceries and walked away. Nico stood up, weakly and grabbed her bags. She didn’t bother wiping the blood from her mouth at all, she just wanted to get home as soon as possible. 

* * *

* * *

When Nico arrived home, she was greeted by her little sister, Cocoro. “Onee-sama! You’re late, what happ-” Cocoro stopped her sentence. “Why are you bleeding?!” Nico rubbed the blood on her mouth. “It’s nothing Co, let me just go in.” Cocoro stepped aside and let her in. Nico set the groceries on the counter and walked over to her room. She plopped down on her bed, and opened up LINE. 

_MUSE GC_

**NicoNo:** guys..

**BREAD:** nico-chan! what’s up?

**ActualAnxiety:** is there something wrong nico-chan?

**Localperv:** my cards said something happened and something is about to happen that will affect us all

**Dr.Maki-chan:** what’s going on??

**NicoNo:** i’m gonna make this quick and easy but

**BREAD:** but…?

**NicoNo:** i quit muse. and i think theres a better fit than me, an old friend of mine, Michelle Seria. She’s in the idol business. i’m sorry guys, i’m just not good enough to be here in this amazing and talented group, i’m just not worth your time, or your energy.

**BREAD:**...u quit..?

**GayBlonde:** what do you mean, nico-chan? you are so amazing at being an idol, why quit now? 

**NicoNo:** just trust me here, i aint worth it. 

**Dr.Maki-chan:** nico. this isnt like you, i’m coming over.

**NicoNo:** no you don’t have to

**GayBlonde:** no nico, something is obviously wrong, and i’m sure maki will help.

**NicoNo:** no please don’t come!!!!

**Dr.Maki-chan:** i’ll be there in 5

**NicoNo:** do any of you listen?!

* * *

* * *

Nico looked up from her phone teary eyed. She can’t believe she did it, she threw away her dream entirely. It’s gone. Completely gone. No more Nico Nico Nii, no more Muse, no more idol persona. Just plain old Nico. A rapid knock on the front door took Nico out of her thoughts. She assumed one of the kids answered the door, since she heard. “Hey Maki-chan! Nico’s in her room!” Nico put her phone down on one of her pillows and covered herself up with a huge panda bear that her dad had got her for her tenth birthday. Maki came into her room and shut the door quietly. “Nico.” Maki’s tone was deep and dark. “We need to talk about a few things.” Maki then walked over to her bed and sat down. Nico felt her panic spike. “You’re not going to break up with me, are you?!” Maki looked almost shocked, “What? No. It’s about the quitting thing and this Michelle person.” Nico started to breath heavily and shake rapidly. Maki noticed this and grabbed her shoulders and hugged her. “Woah, calm down. Hey, hey, look at me, look at me.” Maki grabbed Nico’s face gently and saw the blood on her mouth. Her eyebrows furrowed and tried to wipe it off. Nico was starting to calm down, her breathing starting to even out. Maki decided to ask about the blood later, and just decided to comfort her girlfriend. 

After a bit, and getting Nico calmed down and situated, Maki decided to ask questions. “I know your reason for quitting muse, but Nico-chan...who’s Michelle?” Nico gripped her panda tighter. “Someone from middle school. We don’t like each other very much. I did something unforgivable, and it costed a chance for the both of us.” Maki furrowed her eyebrows again. “What do you mean exactly?” Nico averted her gaze, and inhaled deeply. “I sabotaged her career to become an idol.” Maki looked shocked to say the least. “You..what?” “It was in middle school, and I was jealous of her. She had it all, and I had nothing. I was a dumb kid, and I even payed for it. And I deserved what I got.” Maki leaned over and hugged Nico. “Ok. But what does she want with you now?” Nico ran a hand through Maki’s hair soothingly. “She....she wants to ruin my life. But I can’t blame her. I did ruin hers.” Maki buried her face in Nico’s shoulder. “Does she want anything from you?” Nico nodded slowly. “Money, and muse.” Maki lifted her head to look at Nico. “How much?” Nico hummed confused. “How much money does she want? I can help.” Nico shook her head. “No, Maki, you shouldn’t have to give me your money-” “You’re right. I won’t.” Nico scrunched her brow. “Huh?” Maki then pulled out her phone. “We’ll tell the police.” Nico then snatched Maki’s phone and hid it behind her. “No!” Maki glared at her girlfriend. “No...no...I’m sorry, but no.” Maki sighed and gave a small smile. “Ok then Nico, what will we do? Let her torment you?” Nico shrugged. “I deserve it.” Maki sighed again. “Stop doubting yourself Nico, it’s upsetting.” “Sorry.” Maki hugged Nico again. “Let’s sleep on it, huh?” Nico nodded and layed down, pulling Maki down with her, earning a playful yelp. “Hey! Not what I meant!” Nico laughed and kissed Maki.

* * *

* * *

  
  


The next day, Nico didn’t expect to be sitting in her bathroom, with Maki and her mother banging on the door screaming at her to open up. An empty pill bottle in her hand, and a stomach full of pills. She could barely remember what caused her to go there in the first place, she could only recall lashing out and rushing to the bathroom, grabbing the pills and dumping them in her mouth. 

She looked down at her hands, her vision was starting to blur, and foam was spilling out of her mouth. The last thing Nico Yazawa saw was a door being slammed open, and light red-ish pink hair before everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> m

**Author's Note:**

> i am a HUGE simp for Maki, and I even had my step-mom and my dad buy a few figurines of NicoMaki for my upcoming birthday. Its next week and I'm turning 14. Have a wonderful day/afternoon/night!!! <3


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